Dear men,
Today is International Men’s Day; this year’s celebration is themed “ZERO MALE SUICIDE” and I’m sure that doesn’t mean much because society has placed men on a pedestal where they are just meant to bury their personal battles in shame due to what people would say. Though, today is supposed to raise awareness about men’s mental health as it relates to suicide and celebrate positive role models, I want to personally use it as an opportunity to crave your indulgence against suicide and suicidal thoughts of any form.
That’s how it goes, you can’t really talk about what it means to be a man; a good, honorable man these days. It is not easy to be good, it is not easy to rise above expectations, it is not easy to be what you are. Kudos to you for being the best man to your wives, kids and everyone around you even in the midst of a scorching economic hardship.
Society seems content to treat you like a bunch of ill-behaved children. Just grow some facial hair, sit on the couch and grunt. You are, after all, just a bunch of guys. But that’s why I’m writing you this letter. I want you to know that society has got it all wrong. You always have accepted challenges as opportunities.
Men; good, honorable men aren’t pigs. They want to care for their families and spend quality time with their kids. And though they may not readily admit it, they want to do housework, change dirty diapers and grab stuff at the store too, not necessarily because they enjoy it, but because they want to be helpful.
You always have given your best in everything you do. In your quiet time, the only thing that matters the most is the comfort of your family, you have always respected everyone around you. And as such, keep fighting and keep pushing for one day, all your dreams of achieving success and giving your family the befitting life they deserve will become a reality.
We’re under tremendous pressure to be all things, to work full-time and spend quality time with our kids, to keep healthy food on the table and a house clean enough not to disgust our visitors.
Work as hard as you possibly can but never ever take your mental health for granted, and you need to understand that you can’t do it all. We try to scale back. And even then, it’s tough to live with margins, to have time to breathe and enjoy life but having a willing, caring, understanding and loving partner makes it so much easier. Thank you so much for all you do my darling wife with the sunshine smiles Joy Ochigbo
It may not seem like a lot, but you have no idea how much good you do when you read a book to your son(s) or daughter(s), come home from work early to get them from daycare or forgo the football game to help clean up after dinner. You’re teaching the next generation what it means to be good, honorable men. Keeping fighting and lastly, always remember, no matter the amount of downturn, suicide is not an option. Your mental health matters a lot, if not to you, it matters to your family and everyone you have ever cared for.
To all the amazing men out there, my dad, father in-law, brothers-in-law and male friends, may your day be filled with joy, recognition, and the appreciation you truly deserve.
Happy International Men’s Day to the gentlemen who stand tall with integrity, compassion, and strength. Your influence is invaluable.
Dr. Ochigbo David.
Happy international men’s day. Lovely write up.
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